Your 18 to 23 month old: what to say and do

Night night to the room

The light is about to go off and your toddler is looking around the room.

Try

Say night night to one thing.

How to do it

1. Say night night to one thing in the room.
2. Start another 'Night night...' and stop, looking around.
3. Say night night to whatever they name or point at.

Conversation guide

Parent

'Night night, lamp. Night night...' [pauses, looks around]

Child

[points at teddy] 'Teddy!'

Parent

'Night night, teddy. What else?'

Child

[points] 'Shoes.'

Parent

'Night night, two shoes! Night night, you.'

Why this matters

Your toddler practices naming things and taking turns. Each pause leaves room for their word.

What not to do

• Avoid filling every pause yourself.

More milk in your cup

Your toddler holds out their cup at breakfast and says two words, like 'more milk'.

Try

Say their words back, adding a little.

How to do it

1. Listen for their two words.
2. Say them back in a short, full sentence as you pour.
3. Add one new word, like 'cold', then pause.

Conversation guide

Child

'More milk.'

Parent

'You want more milk in your cup.' [pours] 'Here's more milk. Cold milk!' [pauses]

Child

[sips] 'Cold!'

Parent

'Cold milk. Brr!'

Why this matters

Your toddler hears how two words can grow into a sentence. Saying theirs back with a little added shows how.

What not to do

• Avoid holding the cup back until they say a longer sentence.

Head, shoulders, knees and...

You're washing your toddler in the bath and they're sitting happily.

Try

Sing and touch as you wash.

How to do it

1. Sing slowly, and after a few times, stop before a word.
2. Touch the part and wait.
3. Name the word they filled in, then sing on.

Conversation guide

Parent

[washing] 'Head, shoulders, knees and...' [touches toes, waits]

Child

'Toes!'

Parent

'Toes! You sang it. Eyes and ears and mouth and...'

Child

[touches nose] 'Nose!'

Why this matters

Your toddler learns body part names by joining in a song. Touching each part shows where each word belongs.

That sign says stop

You're walking past road signs, store signs or a sign on a door.

Try

Point to a sign and read it.

How to do it

1. Point to a stop sign you pass often.
2. Read it, then stop walking together.
3. At the next stop sign, point and pause before the word.

Conversation guide

Parent

[points] 'That sign says stop.' [stops walking] 'Stop!'

Child

[stops] 'Top!'

Parent

'Stop! Now go.'

Parent

[at the next stop sign, points] 'That sign says...' [pauses]

Child

'Top!' [stops]

Parent

'You remembered! Stop. Now go.'

Why this matters

Your toddler learns that print carries meaning. Reading a sign and then stopping shows the word in action.

Can you touch my fingers?

You've got a few minutes of floor time and your toddler is full of energy.

Try

Hold up your hand and ask.

How to do it

1. Ask one 'Can you...?' at a time, and show the action if they're unsure.
2. Wait for them to do it.
3. Name what they did, then let them pick for you: 'Clap or jump?'

Conversation guide

Parent

[holds hand up] 'Can you touch my fingers?'

Child

[touches] 'Touch!'

Parent

'Can you clap, clap, clap?' [claps a beat]

Child

[claps] 'Clap!'

Parent

'You clapped! Your turn. Clap or jump?'

Child

[points at you] 'Jump!'

Parent

[jumps] 'I jumped!'

Why this matters

Your toddler learns action words by doing them. Taking turns giving the orders puts them in charge.

Up! Window! Say both back

Your toddler is standing in the crib in the morning, calling two words, like 'Up! Window!'.

Try

Say back both things they want.

How to do it

1. Listen for both ideas, and say each one back as a sentence.
2. Do what they asked.
3. Wait for them to tell you what they see.

Conversation guide

Child

'Up! Window!'

Parent

'You want me to pick you up. You want to see out the window.'

Parent

[lifts them to the window] 'Up to the window!'

Child

'Bird!'

Parent

'Two birds! One, two. On the fence.'

Why this matters

Your toddler learns two words can carry their whole message. Saying back each part shows them you understood.

You stopped. A pee is coming.

Your toddler is on the potty, in the bath or diaper-free, and they suddenly go still or squat.

Try

Name it the moment they go still or squat.

How to do it

1. Watch for their sign: going still, squatting or looking down.
2. Name it right then: 'A pee is coming.'
3. Use the same words each time, for pee and for poop.

Conversation guide

Child

[stops playing, goes still]

Parent

'You stopped. A pee is coming.'

Child

[looks down] 'Pee!'

Parent

'You're doing a pee. That's what a pee feels like.'

Why this matters

Your toddler learns to notice a pee or poop coming. Naming their sign links the feeling to a word.

What not to do

• Avoid 'Yuck!' or a pulled face.

Carry the cups to the table

You're getting the table ready for a meal.

Try

Hand them the cups, and let them decide whose place each one goes to.

How to do it

1. Give them cups that won't break, one for each person.
2. At the table, hold up a cup and ask who it's for.
3. Let them put it at that place, even if it's not where you'd put it.

Conversation guide

Parent

'Can you carry the cups?' [hands them over]

Child

[walks to the table] 'Cup! Cup!'

Parent

[holds one up] 'Who gets this cup?' [waits]

Child

'Daddy!' [puts it at Daddy's chair]

Parent

'Daddy's cup! And this one?'

Child

[pats their own chair] 'Mine!'

Parent

'Your cup. You set the table!'

Why this matters

Your toddler learns to join in simple chores. Deciding where each cup goes makes the job really theirs.

What not to do

• Avoid moving the cups to where you'd have put them.

Pants on your head?

You're getting your toddler dressed and they're wriggling to get back to their toys.

Try

Put their pants on your head.

How to do it

1. Put the pants somewhere silly and look puzzled.
2. Ask where they go, and wait for them to correct you.
3. Laugh, then say where they go.

Conversation guide

Parent

[pants on head] 'Pants on my head?'

Child

[laughs] 'No, silly!'

Parent

'Oh! Where do they go?'

Child

'Legs!'

Parent

'On your legs! One leg, two legs.'

Why this matters

Your toddler practices using words to correct you. A silly mix-up gives them a reason to speak up.

What not to do

• Avoid keeping the joke going after they've lost interest.

How do they feel?

You're reading a picture book and a character is crying, laughing or angry.

Try

Point to the face and ask.

How to do it

1. Ask how they feel, then wait.
2. Ask what happened, and wait again.
3. Say their answer back in a sentence, then wait.

Conversation guide

Parent

[points] 'Look at their face. How do they feel?'

Child

'Sad.'

Parent

'They're sad. What happened?'

Child

'Ball gone.'

Parent

'Their ball rolled away. That's why they're sad.'

Why this matters

Your toddler learns to name feelings and what caused them. Pausing at a character's face gives them time to answer.

What not to do

• Avoid answering your own question before they've had time to.

You were sad, then you played

It's the evening after drop-off, and your toddler is calm and cuddled up with you.

Try

Tell them the story of the goodbye.

How to do it

1. Start with how the goodbye felt, in a few words.
2. Ask what happened next, then wait.
3. Add the part where you came back, and how the day ended.

Conversation guide

Parent

'This morning you were sad when I left.'

Child

'Sad.'

Parent

'Then what did you play?'

Child

'Sand. [caregiver's name] sand.'

Parent

'You played in the sand with [caregiver's name]. And I came back, like I said.'

Why this matters

Your toddler learns words for a hard goodbye. Telling the story, ending with your return, helps them understand it.

What not to do

• Avoid skipping the sad part to keep things cheerful; they remember it anyway.