Your 13 to 17 month old: what to say and do

Pajamas, teeth, book

It is the start of your bedtime routine.

Try

Say the next step before you do it.

How to do it

1. Do the same steps in the same order each night.
2. Name each step before you start it.
3. Wait for your child to move toward it.

Conversation guide

Parent

'Pajamas on.'

Child

[holds up arms]

Parent

'Teeth next.'

Child

[walks toward the bathroom]

Parent

'You knew! Now a book.'

Why this matters

Your toddler learns what comes next at bedtime. Naming each step first links the words to the routine.

What not to do

• Avoid listing every step at once; name each as it comes.

Wait for a sound, then 'Yes!'

Your toddler points at the yogurt on the table and looks at you.

Try

Name it, then wait a few seconds.

How to do it

1. Name the thing they point at.
2. Wait a few seconds before handing it over.
3. If they make a sound, cheer and name it again.

Conversation guide

Child

[points at yogurt] 'Uh!'

Parent

'Yogurt?' [waits]

Child

'Yo!'

Parent

'Yes! Yogurt.' [hands it over]

Why this matters

Your toddler learns to add a sound to their point when asking. Waiting a few seconds leaves room to try.

What not to do

• Do not hold it back until they say the word.

Tell it from the pictures

You open a picture book and your toddler wants to turn the pages fast.

Try

Skip the words; talk about the picture.

How to do it

1. Let your child turn the pages.
2. Say a few words about the picture on each page.
3. Wait on any page they stop at.

Conversation guide

Parent

'Look, a boat.'

Parent

'Your turn to turn.' [waits]

Child

[turns the page, stops, points at the moon]

Parent

'The moon!'

Why this matters

Your toddler learns to look through a book with you. Talking about pictures lets them set the pace.

What not to do

• Avoid reading every word on the page.

Hands out to wash

Your toddler is sitting in the bath and it's time to wash hands.

Try

Hold your hands out and wait for theirs.

How to do it

1. Hold your own hands out, palms up, and wait.
2. Put a little soap in their hands and rub yours alongside.
3. When they hold up soapy hands, name what you see.

Conversation guide

Parent

[holds hands out, palms up] 'Hands out!'

Child

[holds hands out]

Parent

[puts soap in their hands, rubs own] 'Rub, rub, rub.'

Child

[rubs, holds up soapy hands] 'Ba!'

Parent

'Bubbles! Rinse.' [dips their hands in the water]

Child

[splashes, laughs]

Why this matters

Your toddler learns to help wash their own body, starting with hands. Rubbing alongside you gives them their part.

What not to do

• Avoid grabbing their hands to wash them; wait for them to hold them out.

One, two, a tall tower

Your toddler is busy stacking cups or blocks and not looking for your help.

Try

Build a little tower beside theirs, and compare.

How to do it

1. Watch without taking over while they stack.
2. Build a two-block tower right beside theirs.
3. Count each one, then say which is tall and which is little.

Conversation guide

Child

[puts a third block on their stack]

Parent

[stacks two blocks beside it] 'One, two. Mine is little.'

Child

[looks at your tower]

Parent

[touches theirs] 'One, two, three! Yours is tall.'

Child

[pats the top of their tower]

Parent

'Tall!'

Why this matters

Your toddler hears number and size words on real things. A little tower beside theirs gives them two to compare.

What not to do

• Do not turn it into a lesson or take over the stack.

Show me your nose

Your toddler is on the changing pad or on your lap, looking at you.

Try

Ask them to show you their nose.

How to do it

1. Ask for one body part in a playful voice.
2. Wait for them to point, then name it.
3. Swap, and wait for them to find yours.

Conversation guide

Parent

'Show me your nose.'

Child

[touches nose]

Parent

'There's your nose! Where's my nose?'

Child

[pokes your nose]

Parent

'My nose!'

Why this matters

Your toddler learns words for body parts. Taking turns finding your nose and theirs makes it a game.

What not to do

• Avoid asking for many body parts in a row.

Find the real word

Your toddler is chattering to you from the crib in a long string of sounds with a real word mixed in.

Try

Listen for one real word.

How to do it

1. Listen to the whole string.
2. Pick out one real word and answer it in a short sentence.
3. Wait so they can keep talking.

Conversation guide

Child

'Ba-da-ga teddy da-da!' [serious face]

Parent

'Really? Teddy?'

Child

'Gah-da teddy!'

Parent

'Teddy is in your bed!' [pauses]

Why this matters

Your toddler is practicing the rhythm of talk, with real words mixed in. Answering one word keeps the chat going.

What not to do

• Do not ask what they said again and again.

I came back, just like I said

You are picking your toddler up from childcare or another caregiver.

Try

Say what you promised when you left.

How to do it

1. Get down to their level at pick-up.
2. Remind them what you said at goodbye.
3. Name the part of the day that came first and wait.

Conversation guide

Child

[runs to you]

Parent

'I came back, just like I said.'

Child

[hugs you]

Parent

'After nap and snack!'

Child

'Nap!'

Why this matters

Your toddler learns to trust you'll come back when you say. Recalling your promise at pick-up helps goodbyes get easier.

Wet diaper? Let's go

Your toddler pats or pulls at a wet diaper and looks at you.

Try

Name it, then walk to the changing spot together.

How to do it

1. Say "wet" while they're still touching it.
2. Walk to the changing spot together instead of carrying them.
3. Let them fetch the clean diaper and hand it to you.

Conversation guide

Parent

'Wet diaper?'

Child

[pats diaper]

Parent

'Let's go change. Can you get a diaper?'

Child

[brings one]

Parent

'You told me, and you got the diaper.'

Why this matters

Your toddler starts linking the wet feeling to a word. Walking to change and fetching a diaper lets them help.

What not to do

• Avoid scooping them up to change them without a word.

Checking back at the park

At the playground, your toddler toddles off, then turns to look for you.

Try

Stay on the bench, and when they look back, name what they found.

How to do it

1. Sit where they can see you, and stay there instead of following.
2. When they look back, smile and name what they found.
3. If they come back for a hug, give one, then send them off again.

Conversation guide

Child

[toddles to the slide, turns to look]

Parent

[smiles, points from the bench] 'I'm here! You found the slide!'

Child

[pats the slide, smiles back]

Parent

'Off you go.'

Child

[toddles on to the sandbox]

Why this matters

Your toddler learns to explore while checking you're near. Staying put lets them leave you and come back.

What not to do

• Avoid following them around the playground; let them come back to you.